Not Everyone Likes Me?

Here’s a hard truth wrapped in a big soft hug: not everyone is going to like you. Some people will side-eye the way you pronounce “gif.” Others will silently judge your Target shoes like they’re on the Met Gala carpet. A select few will decide you’re “too much” just by existing in their general radius. And you know what? That’s their problem, not yours.

For a long time, I didn’t believe that… at all. I treated every interaction like a job interview. I wanted the gold star, the smile of approval, the “Oh my gosh, you’re just the nicest.” I’d say yes when I wanted to say no, laugh at jokes that made me cringe, and force small talk while silently screaming inside. It was people-pleasing at its most exhausting.

But here’s the thing about creeping into middle age (I’m staring the age of 40 in the face): You start realizing you just don’t have the bandwidth to keep auditioning for roles in other people’s lives. Every day is a gift, and we don’t know what the next hour holds. So why spend it performing for strangers, acquaintances, or even friends who you actually can’t stand?

The glow-up, as the kids say these days, is learning to stop chasing approval and start embracing individuality—messy, imperfect, glorious individuality.

The Myth

Let’s be honest: being universally liked sounds amazing in theory. Who wouldn’t want to walk into a room and be everyone’s favorite? To be the popular kid in class! In practice… it’s impossible. You could be the juiciest peach in the world, and there will still be people who don’t like peaches. (And they will loudly tell you they “just don’t get the hype of a fuzzy fruit.”)

When I was deep in people-pleasing mode, I thought I could outwork dislike. Smile more. Be agreeable. Hide the rough edges. Tone down/ up the sarcasm. Basically, package myself into a bland, palatable version of me. Except—surprise!—the people who liked that version didn’t really like me. They liked a cardboard cutout I was lugging around. And the people who didn’t like me? Still didn’t. It’s f*cking exhausting.

At some point, I realized that being universally liked is an absolute scam. It’s not only impossible, it’s boring. If everyone likes you, chances are you’re not showing them anything real. And if they do see the real you and don’t vibe with it, that’s not a reflection of your worth—it’s just proof that not everyone is meant to be your people.

The Style Shift

For years, I chased “trendy.” If Instagram said cropped blazers and neon sneakers were in, suddenly I was wearing them—even if I secretly hated how they looked on me. My home was the same story: I’d scroll Pinterest, copy what was considered stylish at the time, and then wonder why it didn’t actually feel like me. I was basically renting my identity from the trend cycle.

Now? I’ve shifted into something that feels far more authentic: classic, chic, comfortable style. I want my wardrobe and my home to make me feel good, not just look like a page ripped from someone else’s highlight reel. Give me timeless pieces that I’ll wear or decorate with for years—things that make me feel elegant, pulled together, and most importantly, myself.

But here’s the key: that’s just me. What makes me feel at home in my skin might be the exact opposite of what works for you. And that’s the beauty of individuality. Your style, your taste, your vibe—they don’t need to match mine, or anyone else’s. We’re allowed to have our own opinions. Somewhere along the way, many of us forgot that.

We treat opinions like they’re multiple-choice exams— The Scantron version where your anxiety goes into hyperdrive, wondering if you filled in the circle all the way or if that erased mark is going to screw up your score. But the truth is, there isn’t one correct way to dress, decorate, vote, or even live. There’s just what feels right for you.

That’s the shift I’m embracing and beginning to practice: style, home, and life choices that reflect me—not what will earn the most nods of approval. And if someone disagrees? That’s fine. It doesn’t make either of us wrong; it just makes us different.

Some will think you’re too much; others will think you’re not enough. Either way, it’s none of your business.

R-E-S-P-E-C-T

Let’s get real clear about this: embracing yourself doesn’t mean bulldozing everyone else. There’s a fine line between “unapologetically me” and “insufferable narcissist.” (And I guarantee we all know at least one person like that.) Respect matters. I don’t have to agree with someone else’s choices, style, or opinions to respect their right to have them.

When you start focusing on being true to yourself, it becomes easier to extend that grace to others. You stop wasting energy trying to convert people to your way of living and instead appreciate that we’re all just trying to figure it out. And when you meet people who do get you, who love your quirks, your laugh, your mismatched seasonal coffee mugs—those connections feel a thousand times richer.

It's Time.

Every day really is a gift. (Yes, I know it sounds like something your Grammy would cross-stitch, but it’s true.) We don’t know what’s going to happen tomorrow or even an hour from now. Life is too unpredictable to waste time being someone you’re not or trying to please people you don’t respect.

Think about it: how many hours have you lost replaying a conversation in your head, wondering if you should’ve said something differently so that person would like you more? How many times have you agreed to something you hated just so you wouldn’t rock the boat? Imagine if all that energy was redirected into things that actually matter to you—your passions, your people, your damn peace.

The older I get, the more I realize that slowing down and embracing life is only possible when you stop handing out free tickets to your performance. You don’t need to audition for anyone. You’re already cast in the leading role of your own life. (How’d you like that metaphor?)

Remember…

Not everyone is going to like you. Some will think you’re too much; others will think you’re not enough. Either way, it’s none of your business. Your business is being who you are, unapologetically—whether that’s in your wardrobe, your home, or how you spend your time. Don’t tone yourself down and out of your own life.

Because at the end of the day, the people who matter won’t love you for your ability to please them. They’ll love you because you’re you—quirks, bold couch cushions, sarcastic humor, and all. And if someone doesn’t? That’s fine. You don’t need to be everyone’s peach.

Oh, and by the way, it’s pronounced “Gif” not “Jif.”

You’re Doing Great,

Samantha